Chasing True Beauty – An Introduction:

You know that feature on facebook where past memories pop up? Where a little caption reads “on this day” overtop of a post? Well for me this lovely little feature has meant seeing snapshots of my old life in the modelling world. There I am. Photoshopped to perfection. Living in New York City but still traveling all over the world. This was a life before I found myself elbow-deep in laundry, dishes, and diaper changes. This was a life in which it was literally my job to diet and work-out 7 days a week. A life where I was praised for how thin and beautiful I looked. As you can imagine, after 10 years of modelling my sense of self-worth became tied up in my appearance. If I was working a lot or shooting for higher profile companies and designers, I felt good – important really. But when work was slow and I found myself shooting for random online clothing companies, I felt ugly and insignificant. 

It’s been over five years since I stepped away from that lifestyle and I have kept silent about the things I experienced and saw in “that world”. Mainly because people would get weird about it. I was just so desperate for authenticity that I tried to hide that part of my life. I wanted to find my identity in Christ – not in what I did for a living or how I looked. I wanted to surround myself with people who loved me for me. And I’m happy to say that I have. But to completely erase and ignore that part of my life has ironically felt inauthentic. God has taught me and is still teaching me so much about what true beauty is. 

So that’s what this online blog will be: Stories and lessons I’ve learned and am still learning. It will be a messy, imperfect, and honest search for true beauty – the kind that is not fleeting but eternal.